In this article, I discuss various strategies you can use to manage disappointment and other emotions stemming from lack of success by a sports team which you support.
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I recently appeared on the Toronto radio show called The Naz and Wally Sports Hour. You can listen to the interview by clicking on the link: https://zoomerradio.ca/podcasts/the-naz-wally-sports-hour-podcast/leafs-lose-to-panthers-in-5/
On the show, I discussed various strategies which supporters of the Toronto Maple Leafs hockey team could use to deal with the disappointment of yet another failed attempt by the Leafs to win a championship. In the following sections, I will focus on these strategies which you can use to deal with disappointment you experience from failures by teams which you support.
Accept the disappointment
The first step in managing disappointment is to accept it. Trying not to think about the disappointment will only make thoughts of it come into your mind more. In other words, that which you resist, persists.
On the other hand, expressing your thoughts and emotions in a constructive way will facilitate their diminishing over time. Talking about your thoughts and feelings to supportive others is a good way to express them rather than bottling them up.
Set an achievable goal
Once you have accepted your disappointment, it is good to set an achievable goal for how to manage your disappointment effectively. This entails taking steps to prevent disappointment and other emotions from becoming too intense and as well as allowing these emotions to run their course over time. If your disappointment is at a reasonable intensity level and diminishes over time, then it is unlikely to interfere with your life.
Think constructively about the disappointment
The way you think about your disappointment can make it and other emotions more intense than they should be. We often have overly negative thoughts called hot thoughts enter our minds when a disappointment is fresh. Thoughts like ‘it was a terrible season’ and ‘I wasted my time cheering for the Leafs’ are examples.
Thinking in a balanced way will reduce the intensity of your emotions. For example, you could replace your hot thoughts with thoughts like, ‘Although the Leafs didn’t win the Cup this year, they had a very good season and won a first round playoff series for the first time in several years while being very entertaining to watch. So all in all it was a good season watching them.’
Cultivate balance in your life
It is easier for disappointment to diminish over time if you have balance in your life. That means not having so much of your time and identity invested in supporting a team that your mood fluctuates according to how well they are doing. If you have other stimulating activities and goals besides supporting your team, it will be easier for you to roll with the disappointment.
Let hedonic adaptation operate
The principle of hedonic adaptation should reduce the intensity of your disappointment over time. That is, the effect of an event on your mood peaks immediately after the event and then gradually diminishes over time. Hedonic adaptation applies to both favourable and unfavourable events. In other words, the effect of events on our moods tends to be temporary.
Focus on activities to enhance your mood
Dealing with disappointment over an event is easier if you focus instead on what has a much bigger effect on our moods than events do. These are the activities which we engage in regularly.
To put this point in perspective, consider the positive effect on team supporters’ moods from the activities of watching games all season long, spending time doing so with family and friends and discussing the team’s fortunes. The positive effect on supporters’ moods of these activities far outweighs the temporary negative effect on their moods from their team being not winning or, as in the case of the Leafs, being eliminated from playoff contention.
In other words, the process has a much greater effect on mood than the outcome and the journey has much more effect on mood than the destination. This is the reason I predict, despite the disappointment of their team’s loss, that most fans of the Toronto Maple Leafs will be supporting their team next season. Viewed from this perspective, experiencing disappointment when your team loses is usually a price worth paying in return for the enjoyment which you derive from supporting them.
May you effectively manage disappointment when the teams which you support do not win,
-Dr. Pat
The post How to deal with disappointment when your team does not win appeared first on Dr. Patrick Keelan, Calgary Psychologist.